moving on

i'm fucking sick of making excuses and justifying others' actions. it's just a waste of time. i never imagined i'd be in this state of mind at this time and place. get me out.

overdramatic

i'll be moving on in exactly two weeks without a car and no good friends. ive done everything these towns have to offer and know that it'll be good for me. but fuck, i cant help but be overdramatic with phil collins blasting downstairs and a torrential downpour endlessly tapping on my window.

i'm just upset because i won't be as free as i planned. there is no escape from the restraints of peers and parents. in order to know exactly where i am at all times... my precious lesbaru will be left abandoned for the sake of my parents' sanity.

i have twenty fucking dollars to my name and a dent to pay off. i need change, i need security, and i need uppers.

i just miss how things used to be.

time of the season

when the love runs high 

in this time give it to me easy

and let me try with pleasured hands

to take you in the sun to promised lands to show you everyone it's the time of the season for loving...

it's been a month and three days ive endured the "freedom" of our land... and ive never felt so restrained.

im so anxious to move out in sixteen days to bellingham. i worry it's not far enough... but anything will do

in my current boredom. this town, this state... has nothing new to offer.